September 2009
4 posts
075:
When someone compliments you on an off-day.
Example: “I really love what you did with your hair. It looks great today.”
Thoughts in my head: Great today? I just put it into a ponytail. I barely combed it. It looks dry and brittle. Strands are sticking out all over the place. I somehow got some sort of cowlick like Alfalfa from The Little Rascals.
And then: What does it look like on a day when...
074:
Having the day off.
It always seems like a good idea at the time: the freedom in general and the freedom to do whatever you want. But then you realize how bored you are, how much you’ve wasted the day away and that you don’t know how to enjoy yourself outside of your daily responsibilities.
073:
Homogeneity.
Homogeneity of any kind, really. Standing in the middle of a big group of bros is as uncomfortable as standing in the middle of a big group of hipsters is as uncomfortable as standing in the middle of a big group of clubheads.
People within the group are not conscious of the fact that they represent some sort of homogeneity and that irritates me. But - and I can finally admit this -...
072:
Humidity. Could my hair get any flatter?
June 2009
5 posts
071:
You have a fine of $41.40 for a late return of your library books. There is a hold on your account and you will not be able to graduate until the fine is paid in full.
Fuck.
EDIT: Just paid.
070:
Hearing a really good, really old song for the first time. It’s the realization that you’ve spent such a significant portion of your life without that song or that band as a part of it.
069:
After the burn out, running into someone you once liked. The nervousness, the insecurities, the regret?
I asked my friend, “No but honestly, was I looking good?”
Friend, “I thought you didn’t like him anymore.”
“I don’t. But I need to know…for my own sanity.”
068:
Having unreliable, generally disappointing friends and still relying on them, even though you are cognizant of their personalities and behaviors. It ruins the relationships with the better friends, the truer friends by constantly feeling upset over the unreliable ones.
067:
“Where do you go from here?”
“What are you going to be doing with your life?”
“Where are you going to be working?”
“What are your plans?”
“What happens now?”
I. DON’T. KNOW.
May 2009
16 posts
066:
Dog shit on the sidewalk. I know I complain about it a lot but seriously, it needs to stop.
An open letter to people who don’t pick up their dogs crap:
Pick it up! Pick it up you lazy motherfucker. It’s spring. It’s no longer the middle of the winter. The sun doesn’t go down till past 8PM. Don’t be such a lazy fuck and just pick up the shit. You have A DOG. This is...
065:
Waiting until the last moment to finish a paper. In the past, I wrote a paper in an hour two hours before class and got a 100 out of 100 (the highest grade and only A in the class). But now I’m working on my undergraduate thesis, and I’ve been stuck on the 12th page since last week. Help me, baby Jesus!
064:
Tumblarity.
I just don’t understand it. I would feel more at ease if there was some sort of system made public that I could calculate and figure out. I created a new Tumblr about a week ago and it now has a higher Tumblarity than my original Tumblr even though it has less followers and likes/reblogs. What is the formula?
063
Twitter comments that stream into someone’s Facebook AND Tumblr page. Cut back. You’re becoming a nuisance. Yes, we all know that you have food poisoning. Stop reminding me wherever I turn, person I rarely speak to IRL.
062
Not following your gut when it comes to dating. After the fact, it seems to be the reason why the dating situation didn’t work was because you didn’t follow your gut. Dealbreaker’s exist for a reason: sometimes it’s okay to just know and stop proceeding from there.
061
Sasha Grey.
Reading interviews with her reminds me of that girl/guy in your high school English class who always had something to say that was vaguely intellectual, but ultimately lacking in substance. She or he liked to throw around names (always Godard for films or Nietzsche or Satre for philosophy) or terms/ideas (always existentialism…always) but never knew how to elaborate on what they...
060
When you realize the single really is the only good song on the album. What a disappointment.
059
When a highly anticipated album doesn’t live up to your expectations. My recent examples: latest Kanye, new YYYs and Peter Bjorn and John, Neon Bible by Arcade Fire.
058
Megan Fox.
Straight boys, seriously?
I guess so. She’s trying too hard and unfortunately, she is like every other IRL girl who tries too hard and guys fawn over that bullshit.
Oh man, she loves video games! Oh man, she loves giving blow jobs! Oh man, she loves smoking pot! Oh man, she loves strippers! Oh man, she loves comic books! Oh man, she loves cheesy tv shows! Oh man, she loves...
057
“Fuck Yeah” tumblrs.
Stop.
Stop it now.
056
That smell on the Green Line. Oh God, that smell. I’m quite convinced that smell is, in fact, shit.
055
Kate Moss.
054
When a show is cancelled before we get to the meat of the story arc. Recent example: Pushing Daisies. Classic example: Freaks and Geeks.
Would Lindsay really become a Deadhead? Would Nick ever tell Lindsay that he still loved her?
Would Sam’s character evolve from geek to hottie to coincide with the pubescent changes of actor John Francis Daley?
Would Daniel embrace his nerdy tendencies?...
053
When people get overly excited over something they’ve just seen on the internet and join in on the hype. Also, fangasms. Best example? The trailer for Where the Wild Things Are. I get it. I loved the book too and the trailer is good.
But lets remember a couple of things:
This film has been in production forever. That doesn’t bode well in terms of quality. In fact, the trailer uses an...
052
Concerts the same day as your college graduation.
051
Tumblr only works in Internet Explorer on my new work computer. It won’t let me log in through Firefox. WTF?
April 2009
9 posts
050
Your new profile picture.
Your new girlfriend is kissing you.
You look blissful.
And I’m here, trying to decipher text messages from random dudes and eating my second grilled cheese in the past thirty minutes.
049
Cab drivers lecturing me on why I shouldn’t use credit cards and should instead just have cash if I plan on taking a cab.
“We all have to wait in line to cash these at the end of the day.”
Not to be a bitch, but I have to wait for two weeks to get my paycheck for the work that I’ve provided and you don’t hear me complainin’. Geez.
Also, you’re required...
048
2arrs2ells:
shittythings:
I’m sorry, if I lock my work computer to go to lunch, that does not mean that you turn it off and then turn it back on so you can use it for five seconds. You’ve made me lose every tab I had open. How do I get that back open on fucking Internet Explorer? FFFFFFUUUUUU
Step 1. Use Firefox or Chrome
There is no step 2!
Believe me, I would if I could. I use Firefox at...
048
I’m sorry, if I lock my work computer to go to lunch, that does not mean that you turn it off and then turn it back on so you can use it for five seconds. You’ve made me lose every tab I had open. How do I get that back open on fucking Internet Explorer? FFFFFFUUUUUU
047
Those two guys in class who like to compare dick sizes get into debates on anything at anytime with each other, disrupting class time and frustrating the rest of their peers.
046
Realizing you made a spelling and/or typographical error hours, sometimes days later.
045
Guilt sex.
“Don’t you like me?”
“Of course I like you!”
“Then why can’t I come home with you?”
“We’ve only known each other for a week.”
“But I like you.”
“I like you too.”
*long pause*
“Do you really?”
*long pause*
“Well, you can come in, but only for a couple of minutes.”
...
044
Waiting for a reply to an e-mail. Why won’t you answer me? What did I do wrong? Please! I just want a recommendation! Am I a bad person?
043
After waiting endlessly for an e-mail, finally getting a response. There must be SOME reason why it took so long for a response. A bad reason.
March 2009
10 posts
042
Whole milk. It’s like drinking cold melted butter or liquid lard.
041
8:30AM classes
040
Deciding not to make a binge purchase, you save money for the tickets you want to purchase only to realize three weeks later when you’ve saved enough that the tickets are now sold out. From now on, you’ll think, “So I have to live on water and sticks of Orbit chewing gum? So what?”
039
Those little straps that come attached to dresses or shirts to be used on the hangers. What are those things called? More importantly, why are they so shitty?
038
“1,000,000 Strong to Make Facebook Go Back to the Layout that I Eventually Got Used to in About 2 Days after Complaining and Signing/Making a Petition asking for Facebook to Resort Back to its Old Changes.”
Or something like that. Are you ready for the new changes?
037
“I know you’re supposed to be my best friend and all but I can’t go out tonight because it’s my old teammates sister’s bachelorette party and even though I’m not friends with my old teammate’s sister or even attending her wedding, I like, so have to go, you know?”
No. I don’t know.
036
Tripping, which is worse than falling down the stairs. When you fall down the stairs, people are worried for your safety. When you trip (on the sidewalk, in a hallway) people can’t help but laugh at you. Sympathy on the one hand, ridicule on the other.
035
Trying to sound both personable and professional in a cover letter. Hell, writing cover letters in general.
034
Updating your resume.
033
When someone uses the bathroom, washes their hands, but doesn’t dry their hands and opens the bathroom door. Now, when you go to leave the bathroom, your hands get wet as well and even though you know it’s just water, you can’t help but think it’s urine.
February 2009
12 posts
032
When people use Facebook like MySpace. You don’t just add people for the hell of it. Sorry, this is not 2005.
031
Also, embarassed.
030
Spelling the same words incorrectly after 21 years on Earth:
mispelled
simoultaneously
fourty
dissapearing
029
Once again knowing the warm temperatures won’t last. These little bursts of warm weather are simultaneously enthralling and depressing.
028
When you have to wait the 50+ minutes to resume watching streaming video on Megavideo because you’ve already watched 75 minutes.
027
Arriving to the event and finding out the open bar is closed for the night. And then, when you ask:
How much is a vodka tonic?
the bitchy, overtanned, bleach blonde bartender points her bony finger in your face and says:
$9 dollars.
Excuse me what?