December 2008
7 posts
007
This is what happens when you’re “friends” with underminers.
The scene: A popular clothing store. It is your first time shopping there and you brought a friend around for his/her opinion on your choices.
While trying on a new pair of jeans…
You: Oh wow! I’m two sizes smaller here than what I normally wear. I guess that diet is working.
Underminer: Hahaha....
006
More tales of public transportation:
When tired and just anxious to relax, you sit down in the only available seat despite recognizing the fact that 15 other people who boarded before you are standing up.
The seat is wet.
It never rained.
You stand back up, put your fingers on the seat then bring them back up to your nose.
You know that smell.
(And those bastards just watched the whole damn...
005
Riding the train at 8:00AM, sitting next to a teenager eating fucking Flaming Hot Cheetos. If you don’t know what those are, you are lucky. Believe me, there is nothing worse than that moment when you want to move seats and realize that the train is so packed that you can’t leave.
And then the teen gets a call on their cell phone, so they’re talking and chewing and…little...
004
This conversation:
When you’re trying to make plans and your friend is like, “I don’t know. Maybe…” after you throw out a couple of suggestions. So you say, “Oh, well, do you have any ideas?” And your friend is like, “No, not really.”
Bitch are you serious? Fucking rude.
003
The smell of chitlins.
The moment you open the refrigerator the next day and smell leftover chitlins.
002
When you and a friend decide to take a picture together, MySpace Style. You hold your friend’s camera out and you both try to look your coolest/sexiest/hippest. In the first picture, your skin is glowing, your smile is beautiful, your hair shines. Your friend hates the way she (or he) looks and deletes it. You take it again. In the second photo, your friend appears flawless. Your eyes are...
001
When it gets cold enough for it to snow and then warm enough for it to melt, creating puddles, and then cold enough for the puddles to freeze and form little ice skating rinks on the corners of 6-way intersections. That’s shitty. That’s something that’s really shitty.