Things That Are Shitty

075:

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 17:15:15 -0400

When someone compliments you on an off-day.

Example: “I really love what you did with your hair. It looks great today.”

Thoughts in my head: Great today? I just put it into a ponytail. I barely combed it. It looks dry and brittle. Strands are sticking out all over the place. I somehow got some sort of cowlick like Alfalfa from The Little Rascals.

And then: What does it look like on a day when I receive no compliments yet actually put forth some effort?

074:

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 16:41:38 -0400

Having the day off.

It always seems like a good idea at the time: the freedom in general and the freedom to do whatever you want. But then you realize how bored you are, how much you’ve wasted the day away and that you don’t know how to enjoy yourself outside of your daily responsibilities.

073:

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 16:38:54 -0400

Homogeneity.

Homogeneity of any kind, really. Standing in the middle of a big group of bros is as uncomfortable as standing in the middle of a big group of hipsters is as uncomfortable as standing in the middle of a big group of clubheads.

People within the group are not conscious of the fact that they represent some sort of homogeneity and that irritates me. But - and I can finally admit this - I am not a part of that group, or any real succinct group like they are and that too irritates me.

072:

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 16:35:50 -0400

Humidity. Could my hair get any flatter?

071:

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 14:41:00 -0400

You have a fine of $41.40 for a late return of your library books. There is a hold on your account and you will not be able to graduate until the fine is paid in full.

Fuck.

EDIT: Just paid.

070:

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 12:08:20 -0400

Hearing a really good, really old song for the first time. It’s the realization that you’ve spent such a significant portion of your life without that song or that band as a part of it.

069:

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 12:05:58 -0400

After the burn out, running into someone you once liked. The nervousness, the insecurities, the regret?

I asked my friend, “No but honestly, was I looking good?”

Friend, “I thought you didn’t like him anymore.”

“I don’t. But I need to know…for my own sanity.”

068:

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 10:14:00 -0400

Having unreliable, generally disappointing friends and still relying on them, even though you are cognizant of their personalities and behaviors. It ruins the relationships with the better friends, the truer friends by constantly feeling upset over the unreliable ones.

067:

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 10:12:36 -0400

“Where do you go from here?”

“What are you going to be doing with your life?”

“Where are you going to be working?”

“What are your plans?”

“What happens now?”

I. DON’T. KNOW.

066:

Thu, 28 May 2009 22:09:22 -0400

Dog shit on the sidewalk. I know I complain about it a lot but seriously, it needs to stop.

An open letter to people who don’t pick up their dogs crap:

Pick it up! Pick it up you lazy motherfucker. It’s spring. It’s no longer the middle of the winter. The sun doesn’t go down till past 8PM. Don’t be such a lazy fuck and just pick up the shit. You have A DOG. This is not a goldfish.

You’re probably one of those assholes who parade their dog around like a new It Bag and for that I hate you. I really do. I live in a complex that doesn’t allow pets and you parade your dog around like a new Balenciaga and you’re too self-involved and lazy and inconsiderate to pick up your dog’s shit.

I hope your dog gnaws your fingers off in your sleep.

Signed,

That angry woman that yells every other day when she steps in dog shit.

065:

Thu, 28 May 2009 21:57:28 -0400

Waiting until the last moment to finish a paper. In the past, I wrote a paper in an hour two hours before class and got a 100 out of 100 (the highest grade and only A in the class). But now I’m working on my undergraduate thesis, and I’ve been stuck on the 12th page since last week. Help me, baby Jesus!

064:

Thu, 28 May 2009 21:55:15 -0400

Tumblarity.

I just don’t understand it. I would feel more at ease if there was some sort of system made public that I could calculate and figure out. I created a new Tumblr about a week ago and it now has a higher Tumblarity than my original Tumblr even though it has less followers and likes/reblogs. What is the formula?

063

Mon, 25 May 2009 01:55:19 -0400

Twitter comments that stream into someone’s Facebook AND Tumblr page. Cut back. You’re becoming a nuisance. Yes, we all know that you have food poisoning. Stop reminding me wherever I turn, person I rarely speak to IRL.

062

Mon, 25 May 2009 01:52:14 -0400

Not following your gut when it comes to dating. After the fact, it seems to be the reason why the dating situation didn’t work was because you didn’t follow your gut. Dealbreaker’s exist for a reason: sometimes it’s okay to just know and stop proceeding from there.

061

Mon, 25 May 2009 01:46:24 -0400

Sasha Grey.

Reading interviews with her reminds me of that girl/guy in your high school English class who always had something to say that was vaguely intellectual, but ultimately lacking in substance. She or he liked to throw around names (always Godard for films or Nietzsche or Satre for philosophy) or terms/ideas (always existentialism…always) but never knew how to elaborate on what they claimed to “love.” The thing is, that girl or guy was really hot, and so it didn’t really matter. If he or she talked about something that ultimately wasn’t mainstream (even if what they were saying was the most mainstream of “unmainstream” things) they became a source of fascination, lust, admiration, and adoration to their peers. The truth is that I openly mocked those who fell within that type, even though I secretely longed to be as skilled in manipulating those around me to appear desirable or intelligent.

060

Wed, 13 May 2009 00:15:00 -0400

When you realize the single really is the only good song on the album. What a disappointment.

059

Wed, 13 May 2009 00:14:00 -0400

When a highly anticipated album doesn’t live up to your expectations. My recent examples: latest Kanye, new YYYs and Peter Bjorn and John, Neon Bible by Arcade Fire.

058

Sun, 10 May 2009 13:40:31 -0400

Megan Fox.

Straight boys, seriously?

I guess so. She’s trying too hard and unfortunately, she is like every other IRL girl who tries too hard and guys fawn over that bullshit.

Oh man, she loves video games! Oh man, she loves giving blow jobs! Oh man, she loves smoking pot! Oh man, she loves strippers! Oh man, she loves comic books! Oh man, she loves cheesy tv shows! Oh man, she loves nothing more than having sex!

Really guys?

None of that seems even a little bit fake? None of it? Not even one thing?

You know what she really loved? Brian Austin Green. I mean, seriously guys, she says all of those awesome amazing rad things and she dates that loser? Put the pieces together. Something’s not adding up. If anything, she must have great PR people.

“You’re the next Angelina Jolie. Guys will love you. You’re hot. Work it. Talk about things guys like all the time. They’ll go see ANYTHING you’re in if you do that.”

And they’re right.

057

Fri, 08 May 2009 23:00:50 -0400

“Fuck Yeah” tumblrs.

Stop.

Stop it now.

056

Tue, 05 May 2009 22:29:47 -0400

That smell on the Green Line. Oh God, that smell. I’m quite convinced that smell is, in fact, shit.